Brian, a 20-year-old college student, came to my office feeling very discouraged and ashamed.  He claimed he was struggling with “uncontrollable pornography use.”  It started three years ago when he discovered Internet pornography.  At first he would only view it a few times a month.  However it soon escalated to viewing it every day.  In college it had gotten to the point where he was staying up all night viewing porn and sleeping through his classes the next day.  It wasn’t until he learned that he was failing all his classes that he realized he had a problem and needed help.  He was addicted to pornography.  Brian couldn’t understand how this could have happened.  Everyone in college, he thought, was viewing it.  In his mind, it has just harmless “adult entertainment.”

Pornography addiction is a common problem among college students today.  Internet pornography has become the new drug of choice.  This is because it is affordable (free), accessible (just a click away), and anonymous (no one has to know about it).  The mass media had contributed greatly to the pornography epidemic in America.  In an effort to sanitize pornography and make it more acceptable to society, the media has renamed it “adult entertainment.”  This has led young people to believe that viewing pornography is harmless recreation.  They are not aware of how dangerous it can be until it’s too late.

Peer pressure is another reason why pornography use is so prevalent among college students.  The “everyone is doing it” attitude has contributed to the belief that viewing pornography is okay.  It has become so common among men that many women have come to accept it as something “all men do.”  They are also unaware of the dangers of pornography.

Pornography is harms young people by the messages it sends.  For young men the message is “Women are there for my sexual pleasure.  They don’t need to be respected or loved.  Porn and sex should be part of any relationship.  Women want sex all the time and can’t get enough of it.  The sex portrayed in pornography is normal and healthy.  Committed relationships are unnecessary.  True happiness and fulfillment in life come from numerous sexual encounters with multiple women.”  For women, the message is “In order to be loved and desired, a woman must look and act like a porn star.  If you don’t look and act like a porn star, then there is something wrong with you.  Offering yourself sexually to a man is the way to a healthy relationship.  Porn and sex should be a part of any relationship.  The sex portrayed in pornography is normal and healthy.  ”  Because of these messages, many college students have developed relationships solely for the purpose of having sex.  They’re called “friends with benefits.”  Ultimately this has led to men exploiting women and women feeling used. 

In order to prevent the damage caused by pornography, parents need to educate their kids on the dangers of pornography before they go away to college.  While many parents work hard to prevent their children and teens from viewing pornography, they do little to educate them on the dangers of pornography.  Thus, when they go away to college, they are unable to say no to pornography and become immersed in it.  This can lead to addiction, which was the case for Brian.

Fathers need to sit down with their sons and teach them about the addictiveness of pornography and how it can ruin their lives.  They must also teach their sons about healthy relationships and sexuality.  Young men need to learn to respect young women and to protect their virtue.  While this can be difficult for many fathers, there are many resources available that can help them in this task.

Mothers also need to sit down with their daughters and warn them about the dangers of pornography.  They need to teach their daughters to respect themselves and their bodies.  They need to be taught that giving themselves to a man sexually is not the way to a relationship.  They also need to be taught about healthy relationships and sexuality. 

A great resource for learning about the dangers of pornography is The Pornography Epidemic: A Catholic Approach by Peter C. Kleponis, Ph.D.  This book can be purchased at http://shop.womenofgrace.com/product/1340/.  A good resource for learning about healthy sexuality is Theology of the Body for Beginners by Christopher West.  More valuable resources can be found at www.IntegrityRestored.com.

Because of our first amendment right to freedom of speech, pornography is not going away.  The best way that we can protect college students is to educate them on the dangers of pornography.  When they truly understand how it can ruin their lives, they can decide to avoid it at all costs.  This will help prevent them from becoming addicted and also help ensure that they have healthy relationships in the future.

Being on the verge of failing out of college was a wake-up call for Brian.  He knew he had a problem and needed help.  Moreover, he was willing to do whatever it took to recover.  He committed himself to a comprehensive recovery program and was able to achieve ongoing sobriety.  Brian also learned about healthy sexuality and relationships.  He now wants to educate his friends on the dangers of pornography so they don’t fall into the same trap.